The Pain of trying to Let Go and finally Giving In
by IfEverythingElseTurnsToDirt
Summary: Because it hurts to let go of the one person you ever truly loved.


The sadness overwhelmed him as he walked through the empty corridor that was filled with all the moments they had spent together. The memories that flooded through his mind shattered his already broken heart once more in the course of a few minutes. It was his final goodbye to the girl he had given all he had to give, his world had been spent revolving around her, admiring all she did. To him she was amazing, the greatest thing that had ever happened to him. His world had shattered after seeing her with someone else. She was happy with him that much he knew and he wanted her to go on and live a happy life but the problem was he knew she needed so much more than that boy would give her. He had wanted to show her what she truly meant to him, he had tried but it was all a little too late.

He had always believed it was never too late but so much time had gone by since they had last seen each other. Even though, an aura of happiness and understanding surrounded her when they were together he always saw it in her eyes that look of longing she gave the other boy when she thought he wasn't looking. She loved him of course but she never accepted him in her heart completely. Her love for the other boy created an eclipse over the love he had to offer her. She was blind to what anyone but that boy could offer. He had searched for any glimpse of hope in their relationship but in the end it was inevitable that he break her heart, breaking his heart in the process. He had never even gotten the chance to tell her he had loved her so much, before he had to leave.

A year had gone by with him away and he could no longer stay away. He showed her in every way possible that he was utterly and irrevocably in love with her, she just didn't want it. He was always hounded by the miserable shadow of the boy she thought she truly loved. He couldn't make her see the truth and she broke his heart beyond repair. He had no more love to give, no more life to live. Dramatics had always been a part of who he was and if he were to die of a broken heart he'd rather do it where it meant the most, to both of them spotlight was everything so he chose the stage of their so said auditorium to cry his heart out.

In the confines of the place and the amplified sense of echo that occurred his sobs and gasps for air could be heard loud and clear. So this is what it felt like to be alone, this is what it felt like to have nothing left in the world. It was a price he had to pay for the choices he had made. Love was never chosen by oneself but chosen for you. He damned the thought that his own heart had betrayed him, but he knew that his love for her had forever changed him. Yet as much as he had hoped that she would be beside him, he was now just a shadow of a man, a hollow existence of who he used to be as he saw her walk away from his life and this time for good. He gave up on any hope that she would return or that they would ever meet again and fall in love once more. The heart he had turned cold as he sat on the stage thinking of all he had wanted but never gotten.

All the dreams he'd ever wanted had fallen to the wayside because of choices he'd made, choices others had made for him. In the end, he would be nothing, he knew that there would be no fleeting moment in which she thought of him. He had nothing left in the world and the tracks of his life hit a dead stop, he could choose to build himself and move on in the process or live through suffering over what had gone on. He chose the first without a second thought, yes she had changed him, but he wasn't going to remain the man she had wanted him to be.

He heard faint footsteps and muffled sniffles and sobs. He turned his head in the direction of said sounds and there he saw her. The tears rolling silently down her face as she stared at him. "I'm sorry.", the words floated through the rows of seats to where he sat and proclaimed to be heard, his resolve was breaking more and more as he saw the pain in her eyes, as he heard the sincerity in her voice.

"I'm so sorry, I-I don't know what I was thinking it was a mistake a stupid mistake.", she cried, at a loss for words.

He had to force himself not to believe her, he couldn't let the wall crumble, but more tears escaped his eyes because he understood. He understood so well, the mistakes, all these stupid choices and he understood. He didn't want to but he knew her well, inside and out, she never admitted to being wrong, and so went the walls into nothing but pure rubble.

The walls a pure and honest reflection of his heart and he once again made himself vulnerable to her, but responded "I'm sorry too, I'm sorry that I couldn't make you realize what you truly meant to me, I'm sorry that the choices I've made led you to make wrong decisions for yourself, but I can't just forgive you." he saw the pain and loss that crossed her features when he spoke those final words.

"You can't, you don't have that right. You can't just end this because of that stupid boy, that stupid boy that I always want but isnt what I need. You are what I need, you're all I've ever wanted.", she was slowly walking towards him as she spoke the words and she now stood right in front him.

"No, you know who has no right? You don't because i can't just give you everything anymore because I have nothing left to give. You took all my faith and just threw it away. You have no right to ask me for a second chance because in the end I've given you a world of chances, and to be honest I've simply run out of fucks to give.", he yelled.

"No, you can't this is insane. I love you, you love me. I don't need anymore chances because I've taken every one just please let me have this option, let me make this one choice myself instead of everyone deciding for me. Let me have all you gave because I didn't throw it away, I was simply to blind to see what you had offer. I'm blind to everything when it comes to you, you don't realize the effect you have on me. I don't care what you have to give or what you take because it's you. You're all I want all I need, you can take and take and take and give nothing in return because I love you and to me that's all that matters.", she was screaming by then.

He couldn't, he wanted to hold her, wanted to tell her it was okay that everything was okay but he couldn't move he stood there not even 2 feet away but couldn't move. He saw her take a step back, he wanted to tell her no to reach out for her, he just couldn't. She was undecided it flickered in her eyes and she took those last few steps and closed the distance between them pulling his head down to her level so she could reach him. She lightly brushed her lips on his once, twice, three times, soon they stilled simply pressed on his. He was frozen not aware of what to do his brain had yet to catch up to his body as he realized their lips had begun moving in sync his arms wrapped around her. He was home, he felt it, that feeling of belonging when there was nowhere left to go. He wanted to hold her forever their kiss deepening as he parted her lips a little more with his own. He reveled in the feeling of her mouth on his, she tasted like strawberry, her favorite lipgloss, his as well. He missed this, he missed them and he wasn't going to make anymore stupid choices when it came to them. He was going to do it right this time.

As he pulled away to look into her eyes he realized that even with a broken heart he still managed to love her, so as he stared into her wide innocent eyes he said, "I love you, so much. No time, no distance, nothing could ever stop me from loving you." she smiled back at him and he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as well. "I love you too. Forever and always.", she whispered. In the empty and dark auditorium they had resolved their confusion. They were made to be together and he realized it now, the walls crumbled to reveal the hope he still had, to reveal the love he still held, to reveal that no matter what she would always mean far too much. It was late, it was cold but in each others arms the world seemed to disappear. They were blind to everything and everyone when standing near each other. The confines of the auditorium were filled with the quite I love you's and the words of regret expressed by the young couple. On the same night he had gone from a somber being to the happiest man on earth. She had put it perfectly. They affected each other the same way, blinded by their want and need of each other they didn't care about give or take all they cared about was their love.


End file.
